How to Finish Your Project

February 19, 2016 fun, miscellaneous 16

No idea how to finish that project you should have been working on for the last three months? As a chronic procrastinator, I have some handy tips for you. Here’s my ultimate guide for finishing your project. Guaranteed to work!


  1. Remember that new show everyone keeps telling you about? You should start watching it.
  2. Your parents always told you, but it took you this long to realize that a clean house really is a clean mind. This is the perfect time to become a cleaning monster and vacuum, scrub and dust every surface you can find. Daily.
  3. YouTube has more than one billion users. So many people can’t be wrong – it’s time to check back and catch up on your subscriptions, your suggested videos and that one cat video you watched three years ago and then couldn’t find anymore. Look for it now, what’s more fun than a quest?
  4. Made it to the library to work on your paper? Phenomenal, take a break. You deserve it. Put on The Great British Bake Off, get yourself an actual cake from the cafeteria and kick back to appreciate the fine art that is turning boring ingredients into something magnificent. If one of your friends stops by, lecture them on the importance of breaks. People say they do their best work when they’re under a bit of stress, but they’re clearly wrong. Stress is unhealthy. So is your cake, but at least it’s delicious, and it’s more for your soul than your body anyway.
  5. You know where dust collects? On lamps. Get yourself a chair, dismantle that lamp and make sure there’s not a fleck of grey left anywhere.
  6. It’s time to be social. Reconnect with those old acquaintances from school you haven’t seen in ten years. Look for pen pals. Hell, why not be bold and sign up for those dancing classes three times a week you thought you didn’t have enough time or skill for. You have to make the time.
  7. What’s the opposite of procrastination? That’s right, productivity. The law of logic dictates that being productive means you’re not procrastinating, so if there’s project you’ve been waiting to realize, you should do it now. No time like the present. Who knows, it might even become profitable, and who could tell you you were wasting your time then?
  8. Now that you’ve spent so much time on YouTube, you should start thinking about making your own videos. You might have to think of a name and a concept and yes, you will have to learn how to film and edit from scratch, but it’ll be worth it. Just make sure to be consistent in your upload schedule. Twice a day should suffice for now.
  9. Just shove a pizza into the oven? Not you. You suddenly decide to start living healthy and make the pizza from scratch. And by from scratch I mean you not only make your own dough, you grow your own freaking wheat. Tomato sauce? Well, better wait for the right season to harvest the sweetest tomatoes, because a subpar tomato sauce is not a tomato sauce you are going to subject yourself to. Clean away those old pizza cartons while you’re at it.
  10. You know what you need? A pet. Yes, you’ll have to walk your dog several times a day, but you’ll be more energized for it. And think of all the cuddly love you’ll receive. That should be sure to boost your spirits and give you the strength needed to finish your project.
  11. In fact, why not add another addition to your family? A baby is a project much more important and fulfilling than the one you’re working on.
  12. Unless you want to focus on your career right now and don’t think a baby fits in. That’s fine, but you should really put in some extra hours at work to get ahead. Not getting paid as much as you were hoping? Apply for a second job. But remember: Make the money, don’t let the money make you.
  13. And haven’t you always wanted to experience a different culture? You’re young and free and if you’re not you’ll want to feel that way again. Be daring and move to a different country. It’s important to expand your horizon.

And if all else fails, start writing lists and post them to your blog. There, I’m sure that was helpful to everyone involved.

16 Responses to “How to Finish Your Project”

  1. Jackie

    OMG! The Great British Bake Off is probably the BEST cooking competition show ever. I watched it in Netflix over the Christmas holidays, and I kid you not, I CRIED at the last episode. It’s such a positive and charming show. It also made me suddenly desire to bake bread…
    Jackie recently posted…One Lovely Blog…Or So I’m ToldMy Profile

    • Vlora

      Vlora

      IKR? I watched the last season (I’m glad for Nadiya, and I already knew she was going to win because I was spoiled, but I was also rooting for Tamal, because I thought he was hilarious) and then I went back and watched the very first season as well. Hahaha I love that, because it also made me want to bake bread. There was this one bread with manchega and some other stuff that looked too delicious to be allowed. It’s a lot of work and you can buy good bread where I live, so I ended up postponing it, but if I ever spent a significant amount of time in a country other than Germany, I think I’ll definitely start making my own bread. :D
      Vlora recently posted…How to Finish Your ProjectMy Profile

  2. Valerie

    Omg yes to the new pet. I like to procrastinate by looking online at shelters and browsing all the squishy doggies you can adopt. And then you should also think about your future, and about how your project will be done at some point, right? Maybe not now, but definitely before the deadline or whatever. Oh and don’t forget to EAT ALL THE FOOD. AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM (though I won’t do that let’s be honest). And look up new books to read :)
    Valerie recently posted…Guest Review: The NightingaleMy Profile

    • Vlora

      Vlora

      I, um, may have done that on occasion before as well hahaha. I KNOW it would make zero sense to adopt a pet right now, but one can dream, right? Oh, absolutely, I should have put that on the list. It’s important to think of the future, when your project will be all done and over with and to plan what you’ll do then instead of actually finishing the project.
      Vlora recently posted…How to Finish Your ProjectMy Profile

  3. Rachel @ A Perfection Called Books

    Haha I do ALL of this. Rachel, go send those emails out now!! *Rachel binges new tv show* Rachel, make sure to work on next month’s blog calendar. *proceeds to look up recipes on Pinterest* It’s a never-ending cycle of “But I don’t FEEL like it.” It’s rough, but you just gotta keep going ;D Haha nice post, Vlora ;)

    • Vlora

      Vlora

      Hey, at least you HAVE a blog calendar; that means you’re already ten steps ahead. :D Haha yes, BUT I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE IT DAMMIT *STOMPS FOOT* is one of my go-to excuses as well. Glad you liked it, thanks!
      Vlora recently posted…How to Finish Your ProjectMy Profile

  4. Lola

    This probably isn’t the right time to admit that I am not a procrastinator? I actually like doing things in advance, the earlier the better and I am rather ahead than behind. Although pinterest and cooking/ baking sure eats up some of my time. I try to avoid pinterest as before I know it I can spend an hour there instead of working, which isn’t good. Just like Alyssa I expected a real tutorial until I read the first point. Definitely brought a smile to my face, great post! All are great ways to procrastinate, it’s amazing how when you really don’t want to do something everything else suddenly seems much more interesting and important.
    Lola recently posted…Sunday Post #166My Profile

    • Vlora

      Vlora

      You’re only the second person I know about that doesn’t procrastinate. :D Howwwwww. Share your wisdom with me, Lola, because I just can’t do anything without the looming pressure of a deadline. Well, at least not term papers. I’ve tried pinterest twice, and I find it’s okay, but it doesn’t actually suck me in at all! Glad the post brought a smile to your face! :)
      Vlora recently posted…A Gathering of ShadowsMy Profile

    • Vlora

      Vlora

      I KNOW RIGHT. I can be so productive while procrastinating and then of course I procrastinate more because I feel I’ve done something productive. SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY ADVICE IT IS WIDSOM DISTILLED INTO WORDS.
      Vlora recently posted…A Gathering of ShadowsMy Profile

  5. Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

    BWHAHAH. LOVE. I am in love with your use of reproduction to procrastinate. I promise, it will work ;) And it is all just so true. I know there are times when I will do literally ANYTHING but whatever the thing is I HAVE to do. Even stuff that would normally be the stuff I was procrastinating over! Which is really the irony here, isn’t it?

    Welp, off to the SPCA to grab a cat or a ferret or something. Or maybe the sperm bank? Haven’t decided. The sperm bank would make the cake easier to justify though…
    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight recently posted…Review: After the Woods by Kim SavageMy Profile

    • Vlora

      Vlora

      Hahaha I can happily say I haven’t gone quite that far yet to procrastinate, but it’s only a matter of time really. Children? Ugh no, thanks. Wait, I won’t have to write this term paper if I get pregnant? SURE SIGN ME UP. Haha yes, I usually procrastinate normal writing, but when I have to write a term paper, I suddenly write ALL THE THINGS other than the paper. :D Yes, you’re right. Cake is another perk. Go for it, I say!
      Vlora recently posted…A Gathering of ShadowsMy Profile

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