No idea how to finish that project you should have been working on for the last three months? As a chronic procrastinator, I have some handy tips for you. Here’s my ultimate guide for finishing your project. Guaranteed to work!
- Remember that new show everyone keeps telling you about? You should start watching it.
- Your parents always told you, but it took you this long to realize that a clean house really is a clean mind. This is the perfect time to become a cleaning monster and vacuum, scrub and dust every surface you can find. Daily.
- YouTube has more than one billion users. So many people can’t be wrong – it’s time to check back and catch up on your subscriptions, your suggested videos and that one cat video you watched three years ago and then couldn’t find anymore. Look for it now, what’s more fun than a quest?
- Made it to the library to work on your paper? Phenomenal, take a break. You deserve it. Put on The Great British Bake Off, get yourself an actual cake from the cafeteria and kick back to appreciate the fine art that is turning boring ingredients into something magnificent. If one of your friends stops by, lecture them on the importance of breaks. People say they do their best work when they’re under a bit of stress, but they’re clearly wrong. Stress is unhealthy. So is your cake, but at least it’s delicious, and it’s more for your soul than your body anyway.
- You know where dust collects? On lamps. Get yourself a chair, dismantle that lamp and make sure there’s not a fleck of grey left anywhere.
- It’s time to be social. Reconnect with those old acquaintances from school you haven’t seen in ten years. Look for pen pals. Hell, why not be bold and sign up for those dancing classes three times a week you thought you didn’t have enough time or skill for. You have to make the time.
- What’s the opposite of procrastination? That’s right, productivity. The law of logic dictates that being productive means you’re not procrastinating, so if there’s project you’ve been waiting to realize, you should do it now. No time like the present. Who knows, it might even become profitable, and who could tell you you were wasting your time then?
- Now that you’ve spent so much time on YouTube, you should start thinking about making your own videos. You might have to think of a name and a concept and yes, you will have to learn how to film and edit from scratch, but it’ll be worth it. Just make sure to be consistent in your upload schedule. Twice a day should suffice for now.
- Just shove a pizza into the oven? Not you. You suddenly decide to start living healthy and make the pizza from scratch. And by from scratch I mean you not only make your own dough, you grow your own freaking wheat. Tomato sauce? Well, better wait for the right season to harvest the sweetest tomatoes, because a subpar tomato sauce is not a tomato sauce you are going to subject yourself to. Clean away those old pizza cartons while you’re at it.
- You know what you need? A pet. Yes, you’ll have to walk your dog several times a day, but you’ll be more energized for it. And think of all the cuddly love you’ll receive. That should be sure to boost your spirits and give you the strength needed to finish your project.
- In fact, why not add another addition to your family? A baby is a project much more important and fulfilling than the one you’re working on.
- Unless you want to focus on your career right now and don’t think a baby fits in. That’s fine, but you should really put in some extra hours at work to get ahead. Not getting paid as much as you were hoping? Apply for a second job. But remember: Make the money, don’t let the money make you.
- And haven’t you always wanted to experience a different culture? You’re young and free and if you’re not you’ll want to feel that way again. Be daring and move to a different country. It’s important to expand your horizon.
And if all else fails, start writing lists and post them to your blog. There, I’m sure that was helpful to everyone involved.