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Setting Up a Hosting Account (Not a How To)
So, how do I do this, do I just go to wordpress.org and pay them or what? What do they mean find a web host? How many are there??? Oh, is that like that godaddy thing I heard of? Wow, um, that’s a lot of options. Oh, hang on this site links to the ones wordpress recommends. Darn it, godaddy isn’t on there. Blue Host is looking good… Nice tutorial, seems easy to set up… What do you mean they don’t host porn? This tutorial person is praising that under values? The eff is wrong with him? What if they take my site down because of a racy book cover? Okay okay, let’s see… HostGator’s website is all over the place… Laughing Squid has a great design! So you just upload WordPress with the one-click thing like on the other websites? Hang on, hang on, they don’t have that? Weeeeeeeell… Maybe it’s not that hard, let’s take a look. Okay, you have to download something and- you know what never mind. Let’s Google again. Meh, HostGator being recommended again… Really didn’t like their design… HOSTGATOR COUPON CODE, LET’S DO THIS BITCHES. Ooooh, only 3$ dollars a month? That sounds great!!! What do you mean I can only have one domain? Like I could LIMIT myself that way, pfff… Unlimited domains, that sounds better! Okay, 8$/m, that’s definitely more… PAY UPFRONT FOR A WHOLE YEAR AM I FRICKIN’ BILL GATES!???
— 3 minutes later —
But I really want a nice blog. Like, REALLY. All the cool blogs run on wordpress.org. Hmmm… I did save some money…. I mean how high can the electricity bill be, right? So, ’bout 80 bucks for a year, I can live with that… Country: Germany, let’s check the final bill again to see if everything’s alri- HEY! Where did those extra 20 bucks come from!?? Wait, wait, wait… Value Added Tax? I have to pay the frickin’ tax when I buy something ONLINE? Just because I’m from Germany? That’s discrimination, I have half a mind to sue them. Okay, okay if it’s on wikipedia it must be right. Man, that’s A LOT OF MONEY. I’m a student, isn’t there a discount or something? I mean, like, who can live without a blog today, it’s practically a basic neccessity… for pretentious hipsters. Aaaanyway, let’s do this. Okay, so I paid, what now? cPanel, backend, the eff? Okay, okay that doesn’t look too bad. I’m actually starting to like this stupid blue dinosaur or whatever it is supposed to be. AHA WordPress one-click install, awesome. Already updated, this fast? Yay, this is so easy. Soooooo… where is my website?