This is obviously full of spoilers, so don’t read it on if you haven’t watched it yet or you don’t mind spoilers.
Vlora: Welcome to episode three! A lot happened this week, so let’s dive straight in.
Bianca: How did Moose and Mitch survive??? How? I mean I would except the ‘Moose shielding Mitch’ but Moose looked way too good for being shot multiple times. Fred got shot once and still looks worse after being out of hospital for a while.
Vlora: I thought they were dead for sure. I mean the hooded guy shot them at really close range. Is he just a seriously incompetent killer?? Maybe they don’t need to be as afraid of him as they are? ALSO, your theory was right!!! The killer is going after “sinners”.
Bianca: That was the best moment! I was internally yelling “That’s my theory!!!”
Vlora: Yeah, I figured you’d be feeling vindicated when I watched it. I’m proud of you.
Bianca: Thanks! Let’s go on and talk about Kevin. He really got the spotlight in this episode.
Vlora: Oh man, Kevin. He was really important this episode, and I’m glad they’re using his character a little more. He was making a lot of bad choices, but I really liked that we got to see why and that moment he had with his dad at the end was quite touching.
Bianca: I thought so too. However, Kevin seems to always get into the way of crime in some way or the other. Moose and him finding Jason’s body, now witnessing the shooting and it always takes place in spooky places during the night (I know that’s where and when crime happens ;) )
Vlora: Your memory is so much better than mine. I remembered Kevin was making out with some guy in the woods when they found Jason (though I didn’t remember it was Moose, now the weird moment they had in the hospital makes more sense), but I forgot it was Kevin who found Jason too. That certainly would have put me off the woods for a while, but you do you, Kevin.
Bianca: The hospital scene really was kind of weird, especially since Moose is in a relationship now. It seems that nothing could keep Kevin from the woods, not even Betty and definitely not ‘suddenly Kevin expert’ Cheryl.
Vlora: Yeah, it makes more sense with their backstory, but Moose was so coming on to him and didn’t he just say he really cares about Mitch? Not cool, Moose. And I get why Kevin is pissed off with Betty – she interferes A LOT, but she also did really just want him to be safe, and she had reasonable concerns about Kevin wandering the woods where a couple of people already got shot. And Cheryl… IDEK. Half the episode I expected her to have some evil plan ready, because she was just skulking around in the background of scenes, smiling creepily, but then she really did just offer her help. I cannot figure her out.
Bianca: Haha Cheryl being her creepy self. I still felt really bad for Betty since she really was just very worried and wanted him to be safe but I also get where Kevin was coming from. However, the stabbing scene really got me for a few seconds. I was so shocked.
Vlora: Me too! Especially because you didn’t see that creepy old guy’s eyes in the car, so I thought for sure he was the killer. Kevin did have a point when he said Betty doesn’t really live in the same world, but she also didn’t come there to tell him how “disgusting” he was being, she came there because she didn’t want him to get killed. Also apparently Dark Betty is an actual thing now?? And what was that about her BDSM adventures?
Bianca: I did not really get that. I mean we all know that one episode in season 1 where things got a little out of hand but apart from that I always felt like Betty’s ‘dark’ side was more something where she could not really express her feelings and not a second personality of hers.
Vlora: That episode was so strange. But we straight up never saw her acting like that again (except last episode with Cheryl, but that was her protecting Jughead, and it felt a bit different) and we never saw anything happen again after Betty said she was worried about how she acted. And when did she discuss it with Kevin? It felt like there were some gaps we didn’t see – maybe because Kevin is there so rarely and when he is it’s mostly about his sexuality. They need to make him an actual character and show more of his and Betty’s friendship.
Bianca: I totally agree. I think that’s what they are aiming for this season – we will see. Talking about rarely portrayed characters: Polly is back! And Polly is gone again!
Vlora: Yes hahaha it felt like the writers suddenly remembered a lot of things from last season, like that Polly exists and that Archie plays football. I mean personally I don’t think that the fact that Polly’s not married and having children is a sin, but with that psycho on the loose she probably has reason to be worried.
Bianca: We will probably see her again some time. I want to see the twins.
Vlora: Maybe in a few more episodes. Personally, I’d leave Riverdale too if I watched Archie’s Red Circle video. How cringey was that?
Bianca: Sooooo cringey! What is he thinking anyway? He wants to be a superhero now? At least think of an original name!!!
Vlora: No joke haha. When he stared at that comic book for a minute I thought maybe he was using it for some light inspiration, not that he’d straight up just copy it. At least he told everyone to report to Sheriff Keller at first, but by the end he had obviously changed his mind because of that snake Hiram (we’ll get to him later). His whole vigilante thing reminded me of Harry Potter and Dumbledore’s Army, except less cool and with less reason.
Bianca: Definitely! At least Fred is the voice of reason in the Andrews household: No guns! Teenagers are not the police!
Vlora: No guns for teenagers should be a pretty simple concept
redacted joke about the US and stupid gun laws. I get why Archie thinks the Sheriff is failing him, but he’s overdoing it a bit.
Bianca: Concerning guns, violence and crime – let’s go to the land of Jingle Jangle which now is nicely called JJ. Let’s get to the South Side.
Vlora: You’re forgetting rumours of cannibalism. They were REALLY trying to make Southside High look like a bad place. Wasn’t Jughead there last season and it seemed mostly fine? Must have changed a lot in the matter of a few weeks to suit the writers’ purposes.
Bianca: Well the Ghoulies appeared out of nowhere? Never mentioned before now suddenly they are so much worse than the Serpents. For me, Southside High kind of appeared to be like a bad parody of Riverdale High. The Red & Black instead of the Blue & Gold – are you kidding me?
Vlora: Yeah, I feel like the writing was especially cheesy this episode. I mean I know the Jingle Jangle ridiculousness was almost definitely on purpose, but they’re pushing it a bit now. And the Ghoulies! All this time the Serpents were established as the bad guys, but now the Serpents almost seem like a nice group of wannabe rebels. I guess they needed a reason for Jughead to join up after all? And let’s not forget Toni.
Bianca: Toni is too nice so she is immediately suspicious. And I am 100% sure that she is going to clash with Betty. I don’t want to be too judgemental but everyone at that school is suspicious to me, even that English teacher (maybe I just don’t trust teachers anymore after Grundy). But what is he doing there? How did he end up at that school?
Vlora: Jughead is such a Hermione. He literally could not stop himself from giving the right answer in that scene. There’s definitely going to be a b-fight between Betty and Toni. Unless the show goes the progressive way and has them not fighting over a guy, but there was definitely some weird tension in the room when they met. Also Toni does seem a little too nice – either she’s into Jughead or she’s hatching a plan, because so far Serpents haven’t been established as kind, outgoing people.
Bianca: And Jughead getting beat up by the Ghoulies? That school isn’t a good place to be. However even more outrageous, him lying to Betty afterwards. Not a good move in a relationship, not a good move.
Vlora: I really hope this isn’t going to be a Betty doesn’t understand his world anymore, but Toni gets him kind of storyline. I expected him to be way more beat up than he was when Betty was patching him up. It looked like they got him good but then he just had a scratch or two. Betty definitely would have made a scene, but with good reason.
Bianca: I get why people get annoyed with Betty but she always has reason. Her friends just keep doing stupid things.
Vlora: True, true. To be honest, she’s also a Hermione, so maybe she and Jughead are a good match.
Bianca: They are meant to be (so back off, Toni!).
Vlora: Especially because Toni gets Jughead to join the Serpents with her spiel about protection. I did think she was mildly funny when that one hot Serpents guy (I just Googled his age to make sure I’m not being super creepy, because apparently I’m so old I have to do that now, but the actor is a few years older than me, so we’re safe) threatened Jughead and she was like “he’s just not that into you, sweet pea” (is Sweetpea his actual nickname or were they just making fun of him??) Can we also just quickly mention that Way Down We Go is played when Jughead goes to sit down with the Serpents? I love that song and it fit the scene perfectly, so well done, whoever chooses the music.
Bianca: The music is really good indeed! However, let’s talk about the Malfoys of Riverdale: our favourite creeps right after the Blossoms, the Lodges!
Vlora: They were being particularly creepy this episode – Hiram threatening Hermione, Hermione calling her daughter “thirsty” and generally being a horrible mother, Veronica wanting her dad to be a bff to her friends – alright maybe that last one wasn’t creepy, but it is a bit weird. I thought Veronica would be wary after Smithers disappeared, but then she was all trusting at the beginning of the episode. By the end she seemed to have a healthy dose of suspicion again.
Bianca: The ‘daddy’ did definitely continue this episode. I don’t get why Veronica is suddenly so desperate to be liked by her father. I am definitely interested how it’s going to be when she is in the room where it happens (internally singing Hamilton) at Lodge Industries.
Vlora: Hamilton reference! Yes, I hope she uncovers some ugly truths at Lodge Industries. Maybe they’re smuggling drugs like the Blossoms and they were rivals? But why is Hiram so set on getting Archie on the offensive with his little ragtag crew of bored kids? And I can’t imagine Hiram doesn’t know about Fred and Hermione – I feel like that’s going to come up in the future. If Fred was shot, Hermione should be a target too. Hiram must be connected to the killer, but why would he care about Grundy and some high school kids? We need more information!
Bianca: Hiram either wants Archie to get into serious trouble or is just horrible at giving advice but I am sure it’s not the latter. He is plotting something for sure. He might be connected to the killer but that would be too obvious wouldn’t it? We definitely need more information!
Vlora: I mean if we had any doubts about Hiram being bad news (which we didn’t), that swivel chair move at the end removed them. Classic villain.
Most Emotional Scene:
Kevin and his dad. Finally they talked, about time you guys!
Hermione is so awful to her daughter. She definitely deserves the title.
Biggest WTF moment:
Kevin being stabbed. I mean they got us for a second!
Lodge Industries being the rival to the Blossom drug trade.
Cheryl walking around smiling creepily during the whole episode.
Best Pop-Culture Reference:
What’s your name, man? Alexander Hamilton
Kevin finally seeing reason after having a vision of being stabbed