Vlora: Welcome to this week’s Riverdale recap! We had three separate storylines that sort of came together at the end this week. We’re also still keeping with the horror theme, as the episode titles suggest.
Bianca: True, but let’s ask the really important questions first: What is Betty Cooper’s future career? Is she going to be an investigator, detective, journalist or maybe the new mayor of Riverdale?
Vlora: Well, Riverdale could certainly use a new mayor. I’m not a fan of the current one.
Bianca: Me neither. She is such a helicopter mom (and she already used to be before all this Black Hood and death threat thing happened). She also pretends that her daughter is such a celebrity when no one outside of Riverdale has ever heard of her. I mean Riverdale is not New York! And in total, she is just really shitty at being the mayor.
Vlora: Apparently Josie is a star on the rise though. She ditched her bandmates to become the new Beyoncé or something and they were understandably not pleased. I was kind of surprised that part of the episode was devoted to her, because the Pussycats were always so randomly there with not much to the characters, but I liked her part.
Bianca: I never really like the dynamic the Pussycats had. They always seemed so over the top and pretentious. So I liked the inside on Josie and that we could finally see her as a normal student at Riverdale High. I also liked the whole storyline with Chuck. It even got me to feel a bit sorry for him which is something I thought could never happen (given that I had a theory he could be the one calling Betty).
Vlora: When he appeared in the What Previously Happened section I thought you must for sure be right with your theory, but then it turned out the opposite was the case. I felt sorry for him too at the end. Josie just accused him with no evidence and apparently that worked… Interesting justice system, guess if you’re sleeping with the Sheriff you get your way. I mean whether he truly changed or not, they still don’t know it was him. They totally got me again with Josie’s “death” scene. It would have been so stereotypical to catch the wrong guy and then have her murdered anyway, especially after she’s finally getting some screentime so we care about her, but luckily she lives on.
Bianca: I suspected it to be a dream so I wasn’t too shocked. I am pretty confident that they will not kill her off. And the whole thing with the mayor and the sheriff!? I mean I guess Josie’s dad is a douchebag but still. And Kevin’s mom is in the army? Do any of the main male characters have a mother that is actually present in Riverdale? Archie’s mom being in Chicago, Kevin’s apparently in the army and Jughead’s mom being her horrible self.
Vlora: They might all have mommy issues, but we know for sure Veronica has daddy issues, what with how she hit on Kevin’s dad. But wait, we’ll get to that. I forgot the creepiest thing about Josie’s storyline – Cheryl is the stalker??? Is she planning something or is she a little more broken than we realised?
Bianca: You never know with Cheryl! I was so happy she finally found a friend and now she has gone all psycho Cheryl again. But the way she was brought up and with those parent’s of hers, who could blame her!?
Vlora: True dat. The only question left now is: was the janitor a red herring all along, or is he going to come up again? Because he was definitely behaving suspicious.
Bianca: Has he been in an episode before? I never noticed him. And he is so suspicious. Maybe I just don’t trust people working in schools anymore, maybe we should pay more attention to the principal then (not suspicious yet but that can change).
Vlora: Seeing how trustworthy the rest of the authority figures are, I’m sure he’ll get his fifteen minutes. I also noticed the Lodge parents were suspiciously absent this week. We still have no clue what they’re planning. Veronica, however, was very present and very spot on with her suspicions about Kevin’s dad.
Bianca: I liked the whole storyline with B & V finding out what’s up with the sheriff. Veronica was right in the end but I thought it so funny how stubborn Betty was and how she could turn everything into evidence against Kevin’s dad. She was so passionate about it that I felt slightly sorry that her theory wasn’t actually right in the end.
Vlora: She didn’t even consider other options. I liked their storyline because it wasn’t quite as dark as the others. I’m sorry for Kevin though.
Bianca: Well he doesn’t know yet but I’m pretty sure he will find out sooner or later.
Vlora: Or maybe Veronica will have replaced his mom by then.
Bianca: Okay that means we have to talk about THAT scene now. I felt so uncomfortable watching the let’s call it ‘cellar scene’. Veronica casually drinking her diet coke while talking to the half-naked dad of one of her best friends. AWKWARD!
Vlora: I mean that would still have been fine, it was more the way she was hitting on him?? Your wife is stationed in Bahrain? It must get lonely… Archie watch out… Ugh, stop it, Ronnie. I couldn’t even watch it when I skimmed through the episode again to remember what happened.
Bianca: You mentioning Archie, he actually was a good friend to Jughead (at least for the most part) in this episode. Even though, it will most likely get him into trouble with that whole drug smuggling video and stuff.
Vlora: During the episode he was a good friend, but then at the end he’s like I have to take my dad to physio and have dinner with my girlfriend even though he knows Jug is trapped into delivering drugs for the mafia or whatever??? It’s like Betty being threatened by a serial killer and him not giving an eff again. Archie is just… grr. He really needs to sort out his priorities.
Bianca: Or someone could be killed or worse! The whole drug dealing thing was awful. I don’t know how Jug will ever get out of this mess again. I actually hate Penny Peabody (What is the thing with the Serpents and peas?)! What an evil witch! And what is her backstory with FP?
Vlora: Possibly Sweetpea is her son? We may never know. Jughead could have been called Peahead in an alternate universe. Maybe the P in FP stands for Peas? And Penny told everyone and now she and FP are archnemeses? In all seriousness though, she sucks big time. Jughead was way too naive, but she is an actual witch and not the cool kind.
Bianca: And even her drug customers call her the snake charmer! She is just scary! Talking about scary, that guy who picked up Jughead was the creepiest person ever on Riverdale (and that is saying something)!
Vlora: I was surprised when he just left after Archie said he’ll pay for everything, because he was giving off some seriously creepy vibes. And what was with all the hurt deer? And why is it always deer that are a sign of something horrible happening? It seems there’s something up with Greendale too…
Bianca: Don’t be in Greendale after midnight? What? Is it haunted? Do the ghosts come out then or maybe something else? I never get why you can be somewhere at 11.59 p.m. but one minute later it’s unacceptable.
Vlora: He also said something like “You never know on the road to Greendale”, so… at first we were both like what’s up with that, but then a tweet cleared everything up. Roberto Aguirre Sacasa tweeted this just a few days ago.
— RobertoAguirreSacasa (@WriterRAS) 1. Dezember 2017
And as every fan of the old TV show knows… Sabrine lives in Greendale! And Bianca recently found out there’s going to be a Sabrina the Teenage Witch show (I had no idea they were related, it’s so random since there’s nothing supernatural happening in Riverdale). So clearly THAT’S what’s happening in Greendale.
Bianca: And what’s up with that Riverdale Reaper story and so many people actually celebrating the Black Hood for what he does?
Vlora: Apparently there’s a Black Hood cult? I hope it’s not going to be a storyline. And the Riverdale Reaper story seems to be a new lead, though I’m not really sure what insightful information it’s given us.
Bianca: Not a lot, just that you can never trust anyone but we knew that before.
Jughead believing Penny Peabody and accidentally landing a job as a drug mule. Then again at least he’s employed, it’s a tough job market out there.
Cheryl being Josie’s stalker!
The guy who picked up Jughead.
The janitor following Josie around.
Most Likely to Get His Life Together
Chuck, surprisingly enough.
Sweetpea is Penny Peabody’s son and therefore his full name is Sweetpea Peabody.