The Hottest Blog Post You’ll Ever Read

May 12, 2017 fun, miscellaneous 14

As I was contemplating what kind of blog post to write, I found myself drafting and redrafting several ideas. I haven’t blogged in a while, so obviously the pressure is on. Not someone too proud to accept help, I Googled “blog post ideas” and stumbled upon a lot of sites telling you how to write posts that will instantly turn your blog viral. This post promising 101 blog post ideas that will make your blog “HOT” specifically inspired me. I mean how could I turn that down?

But why stop at only one of these ideas? If my blog will be “HOT” if I post about these subjects, won’t it be literally on fire if I just combine them all into one post, I logically questioned. Since writing about all 101 of them in one post would contradict the necessity to cater to readers’ short attention spans online, I decided to take the first 5 for now. So without further ado: the HOTTEST post around!

#1 Run a contest

Oh fun, I’ve always wanted to run a contest! I considered giving away a book or something, but I mean I’m sure you wouldn’t want that. Everyone’s doing that, you must be so bored of it. Hmmm how about this: If you’re amongst the first three people to comment, I will EXCLUSIVELY come up with a motivational saying for you. That’s right, a BRAND NEW motivational quote tailored specially to YOUR needs! I mean, who could resist?

#2 Review books/products/films

Well, that doesn’t seem very useful, but they do say try everything at least once… Alright, let’s go with this hallway I’m sitting in. I have to say it’s one of the better hallways I’ve seen. There are two reasonably comfortable sofas for people to sit on while they wait for their seminars to start. There are even a few places to charge your electronic device of choice. However, some people are left standing, so you have to be there quite early to enjoy the benefits of this particular hallway.

In terms of architectural qualities, I’m a little torn. The hallway is situated in a historically relevant building used by a university, which is quite nice. However, a part of the hardwood floor has been replaced with an unattractive gray substance, the likes of which you could probably find in any institution across the country. Additionally it is interesting to note that this hallway fulfills some of the qualities of a waiting room or perhaps a small lounge.

Overall, I would give this hallway 3/5 stars. I enjoyed the open space and the fact that I was able to watch an episode of a good TV show while charging my netbook and waiting for my seminar, but I have also left the hallway to wait somewhere else in previous weeks when I arrived later and there was no more room to sit down. With some improvements, this could be a great hallway.

#3 Make comprehensive guide/tutorial

The writer of the blog post I am basing this on said to focus on something you are good at for this point. After careful consideration, I have identified one of my key strengths: procrastination. Below is a short but comprehensive guide on how to best achieve the same level of pofessionality in this particular area that I am already capable of. Trust me, if I can do it, you can do it.

1. Identify the thing you are procrastinating. You can easily do this by doing something that seems fun to you. After a few moments, you will start to feel guilty. Use this guilt. Consider which aspect(s) of your life you are neglecting by doing the thing that seems fun to you. This is the thing you’re aiming to procrastinate.

2. Make a to do list. To do lists are great for procrastination purposes, because you feel like you are being productive even though you are most likely going to ignore your new list entirely.

3. Consider starting to work on your project. Start up your computer and open up your internet browser of choice to look up something vital. Now be careful – don’t actually look up whatever it was you came for. Instead tour all your favorite social media sites and watch some youtube videos.

4. Complain. Complain to your friends, complain to your family In fact, while you’re at it contact some old acquaintances and complain to them as well. Tell all of them how busy you are with your project and that you don’t possibly have time for anything else. Then get back to watching youtube videos.

5. Tell yourself you will definitely start tomorrow.

6. Go to bed and stress about how little time you have left to accomplish your goals and finish your assignments.

7. Repeat endlessly.

I hope that was helpful! :)

#4 Interview someone

Here, the article advises to get an interview with someone who rarely speaks in public. I thought about people who are usually hard to get a hold of and finally had the perfect idea – a telephone company employee! I called the o2 customer service, but I was on hold for so long that I finally had to go to the bathroom. When I got back someone had hung up on me. I tried again, but after an hour or so I had to run out.

#5 Post a cool infographic

An infographic is used to visualize complex relationships. So I thought what’s more complex than global warming? I hope this sheds some light on the issue; it certainly took me long enough to make.

Alright, that’s it! The first five out of a list of 101 ways to make my blog relevant. I hope you were able to handle the HOTNESS (unlike the earth haha – no? too soon? not soon enough?). Here’s some ice cubes. Let me know if you liked it, and I might make a series out of it.

14 Responses to “The Hottest Blog Post You’ll Ever Read”

  1. Greg

    I like #3 a lot. Procrastinating is a skill, like anything else, and needs to be honed after all through practice. And it’s a shame about that hallway… taking perfectly good wood floors and replacing with the horrible gray substance that seems to permeate building everywhere…

    Oh. And lol about the global warming infographic. Burn, baby, burn… oh wait…
    Greg recently posted…Sunday Post #194My Profile

  2. Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight

    Vlora, you are too funny. I feel like the name of your blog should probably be “Procrastination and Cake” if we’re being real. I laughed wayyy too hard at your hallway review too. Like, I think I snorted when you actually rated the hallway. I love all the “101 ideas” lists because none of them are like… new? Luckily, your take on it is ;)

    Also, as a winner of your giveaway, I will (im)patiently waiting for my personal, exclusive Vlora Motivational Saying™.
    Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight recently posted…The 100 Episode 4×11: The Other SideMy Profile

  3. Valerie

    OMG I AM THE THIRD COMMENT I HAVE TO SAVE MY PLACE OMG.

    Ok I guess I will comment on other things too. Omg you made that infographic? That is amazing. And also 10000% true. And you could always interview me next time ;)
    Valerie recently posted…5 Reasons Why I Miss BloggingMy Profile

    • Vlora

      Vlora

      CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON A QUOTE! Yes, I definitely made it hahaha. I am quite proud of how shit it looks. :D I may actually take you up on that interview for another post, if you don’t mind!

      Your personalized motivational quote: when you’re crushed by academic research and everyone abandons you, remember your life may just be a simulation and you probably don’t really exist
      Vlora recently posted…The Hottest Blog Post You’ll Ever ReadMy Profile

  4. Olivia Roach

    This post cracked me up! I love your procrastination list. I feel like it’s the kind of list I have on the inside of my mind and follow endlessly whenever I have something important that needs doing. So I relate, 100%. I also have to say that the hallway sounds a bit mediocre. Definitely could use a bit of spicing up to get to that 4/5 star status ;)
    Olivia Roach recently posted…Pear Spice Smoothie Recipe!My Profile

  5. Jackie

    VLORA, YOUR POST WAS SO HOT THAT THE CORNER OF MY COMPUTER SCREEN CAUGHT ON FIRE! I’M NOT EVEN MADE THAT THE CORNER IS CHARRED AND SPARKING AND SMOKING BECAUSE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME SUCH GOOD INFORMATION ON GLOBAL WARMING AND PROCRASTINATION! I’m disappointed that I wasn’t among the first three commenters though. I hope you will run that super hot contest again (I hope that doesn’t make me sound greedy!)

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge